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There once was a small dill pickle who wanted nothing more in life than to be a real bread and butter pickle, like the rest of his family. He never understood why he was the only dill in the group, and it constantly ate at him. As he grew up he became more and more like a dill pickle: sour and bitter and full of spite.

Then one Christmas Eve as the pickle floated in his vinegary brine thinking of a better life, he was visited by a magical fairy made of toothpaste and dreams. The fairy grinned at him with perfectly straight and brilliantly white teeth (being made of toothpaste makes for great oral hygiene). The pickle sighed (well, actually is was more like a gurgle because its really hard to sigh in a vinegar-based brine. Try it yourself and see what I mean).

“Why the long face, young dill pickle?” The fairy asked.

“Well, Magical Christmas Toothpaste Fairy, I’m all alone. I want nothing more in life than to be a bread and butter pickle, but here I am swimming in the sour dill brine. What ever am I to do?”

The fairy laughed and pulled out her magical wand made of toothpicks with those frilly bits at the end like you find at restaurants. She came closer to the pickle and whispered in his… well, pickles don’t have ears but if they did that’s where she whispered.

“If you want to be a real bread and butter pickle, my dear dill, the answer is easy! You have had the power yourself the entire time. Anytime you want to become a bread and butter pickle you can. Just be kinder to your friends and family, think positive, and smile!”

“That’s the answer?” The dill pickle asked, sounding hopeful.

“That’s it, my friend. Here, give it a try. Just smile!”

The pickle mustered up all his energy and his face broke into a giant smile. At first, nothing happened, but then suddenly the brine around him started glowing and became warm. Fireworks shot off in the sky, and bells started ringing.

As soon as all the hubbub faded away, things were different and the pickle knew what happened. “Magical Christmas Toothpaste Fairy! You did it! I’m a bread and butter pickle now!”

“Oh, no,” the fairy rebuked, “it was not me. The change was in your heart, and now you are a new pickle. Take this opportunity to live life to the fullest and–”

At this point the fairy was interrupted as a giant hand reached out of nowhere, opened the pickle jar, and took the dill–no–bread and butter pickle out and sliced him up. The hand also took the fairy’s magical wand and served up club sandwiches to his friends.

THE END

I think I am part bear. There is part of me that just wants to sleep when Winter arrives. It is hard to get out of bed, and even harder to clear the cobwebs out when I do finally wake up. I think part of it is the fact that I’m trying to wake up when the moon is still hovering overhead, or it could be the long night of playing video games.

We had a moderate storm blanket the area with a few inches of snow and ice. It wasn’t anything major, but it did manage to close schools and a few businesses. Now most of the snow is gone, but it is still very cold outside. It’s enough to make me treasure the small things in life, such as a warm fire and throw blankets and a sparkling Christmas tree.

We decorated the house this year, but didn’t put up lights. Now with all the ice still on the roof and in the yard, I don’t think I want to put any up. I didn’t realize how expensive it could be trying to go all out with Christmas decorations. I see houses with swirls of mechanical and colorful festivity, but then I see the price at Lowe’s and it chills me worse than the Winter weather. Even more expensive than the outdoor decorations is the price of a prelit Christmas tree.

Since we are in a new house that has very high ceilings, Lori and I decided we should look at a new Christmas tree. I want to find a nine foot tall tree that looks full, is prelit, and isn’t too expensive. We couldn’t find a single one anywhere. So we decided to look after Christmas to get some better deals, and just use our six foot tree this year. It is dwarved by the living room. It is almost comically small. At least it is decorated big.

I remember back in high school a group of friends and I would get together and on Christmas Eve we would go to various houses and play Christmas carols on our musical instruments. We always targetted the houses that were having Christmas parties so we’d be sure to get invited in for snacks and whatnot. It was so much fun. Now that I am back in Oklahoma, I wonder if that is something I should start up again? I wonder if I can still play well enough to not get kicked out of someone’s house?