A Strong Sad Day
Have you ever had a day where you wake up but wish you haven’t? I’m not speaking about days where you dread some deadline at school or that you are nervous about a job interview, but days where there is some creeping malaise in your head that you just can’t shake. Kind of like when you’re on a walk and you run into a spiderweb. No matter how much you pull it sticks around and you wonder if at the other end of the silk sits a spider pissed off and ready to attack.
I feel like I’m wrapped up in the spider’s web, but I don’t know why. Nothing bad is going on in my life right now, but there’s still the odd sense of sadness that keeps coming like a pulse of cold air from an oscillating fan on a chilly day. I don’t understand why it keeps returning. Is it loneliness? Is it a product of my diet? Is it something deep and psychological or is it just bad gas?
I’m not quite sure, but I seem to be having these spells of intense emotions lately and I’m beginning to be concerned. More than likely it is nothing but the changing weather and a lack of enough exercise that is causing my body to creak and slow like the winding of an old grandfather clock, but I don’t know.
Perhaps part of it has to do with my lack of a degree currently. Since I haven’t completed school yet, and it doesn’t look like I’ll return any time soon, I feel like a failure. But I’m starting to accept that a degree doesn’t mean everything especially in light of proper work experience and real knowledge (as opposed to book learning). So I don’t think that’s it.
I won’t bore you anymore with my rambling thoughts. It’s nothing really serious, anyway. It feels like I’m run down and tired, but nothing to get excited about. Maybe I should put on some Pixies or some TMBG to help clear my head.
November 2nd, 2004 at 7:53 am
Dont worry man… it comes and goes. Trust me I feel you on the whole degree thing. Its the people in your life that really matter.